December 2011
46 posts
On the chore wars type thing
It’s not just alien for men to be the main caregiver. I no longer work and am the main caregiver, however as I am disabled my husband does most if the cooking, a huge chunk of the cleaning and is extremely active in parenting. This is considered very strange and I’m constantly told how lucky I am to have a husband who helps with things like the bed time routine and cooking. Which just...
dissecting-my-brain asked: I know I'm late to the "Chore Wars" post, but the other day, a news program ran a story on stay at home dads. Two things surprised me: that this was still such a foreign concept that it warranted coverage on NATIONAL news, and when I tried discussing it with my mom all she said was, "Well, how many do you think are doing this because they lost their jobs?” It didn’t...
notanihilist asked: I just wanted to recommend a book to all of you fellow corgis. It's a 13th century french poem called Silence about this girl who is disguised as a boy and grows up to be a famous minstrel and knight. It's basically a gender dialogue, and I still love it even though I hate, hate, hate the ending.
crayolagoddess asked: In my freshman level three History class, this boy sits next to me. He knows I'm a feminist, and he tries his best to annoy me with sexist jokes, makes objectifying comments about me, and purposefully shut down any arguments I make in class about politics with "What do you know, you're a chick?". I've tried complaining to my teacher, but he says I shouldn't be that...
familydutyhonor asked: My sister was recently in an all-female production of Twelfth Night. It was awesome and I heard no complaints!
weltraumkatzeaufpilzen asked: Re: Playing male parts from Shakespeare's plays. A few years ago I saw the play "As You Like It" on German TV where all the genders had been switched. It was staged by and with Katharina Thalbach. I couldn't find a link in English about it anywhere unfortunately. It was mad funny and awesome though :)
thefenceattheedgeoftheworld asked: Maybe it's because of my oh-so-overbearing personality, but I've never had the problem of sexism in high school - maybe because everyone knows that I am an immoral person who will bite off anyone's head if they so much as mutter a non-equaltarian comment. Yes, I know it's bad for the cause, but...
thatharrypottergirl asked: Last year I took a sociology class and it was full of very, uh...opinionated men who, whenever I gave my view (which was often), I was often told to go back to the kitchen, make a sandwich, etc. We also had a whole unit on the feminist movement, which, needless to say, the boys hated.
iliveinathimble asked: In high school debate there is an absurd amount of sexism. I can't count the number of times I've been told I'm overly aggressive. What's worse is, at one point, my close friend was told she shouldn't debate because her voice was too girly and high-pitched, so no one could take her seriously. The small/non-existent number of girls in higher, national level debate is a very...
deergravity asked: Oh, while on the topic of sexism in high school--I was CONSTANTLY told that I could not choose the various soliloquies of male characters in Shakespeare plays to perform for classes. Did so anyway (I was a great Macbeth and Othello). Always thought it was funny that they didn't see the irony of genderbending Shakespeare.
laurenisdandy asked: Ugh don't even get me started on sexism in high school and college speech and debate. I know multiple people who have written masters theses on it. It's a huge problem, and in my opinion, killing the activity in a way (particularly debate at the highest levels of competition).
urgleburgle asked: Speaking of debate, I once performed The Tell Tale Heart for Dramatic Interp. I dare say I was really good. But one judge commented that I should attempt to be more masculine or else find a piece suited to my sex. I don't recall the speaker ever once identifying themselves or their relation to the old man, so I really cannot understand where this notion came from that the speaker is a man.
macvano asked: I was just reminded of this because of some debate drama on my news feed- A lot of the time, in high school debate, girls often get crap. Ballots (feedback from judges) come back and girls will often get things saying something like "overaggressive" and "shrill". My partner (a male but huge feminist) and I have gotten back quite a few ballots where I was accused of being over...
doctorbee asked: Just wanted to say thanks to you and your followers for the reading recommendations a few weeks back. I've just bought a one year subscription to New Moon magazine for my 11 year old niece for Christmas based on the suggestions. I'm a little bit jealous!
"Chore Wars," and other ideas.
let’s be fair: the “only women cook” imagery is everywhere. when people are confused by men (not professional chefs, but average male-identified people) who cook, it’s not their fault, even if they’re feminists. for me, it’s awesomely surprising, but surprising nonetheless to hear about dads in the kitchen, even though my dad can and does cook food (as well as...
stxena asked: An ep of the Stuff Mom Never Told You podcast talked about how the idea of a modern professional chef stems from the military -- during peace time, the male cooks would go to work for the nobility, etc. And from that came the idea that a man was a chef but a woman was just a cook. Public vs private -- public section = men (chef, tailor, janitor), private sector = women (cooking, mending/sewing,...
westfalias asked: I thought it was super weird when I got older and people acted like only women cook. My dad was the main cook for our house and he was really passionate about food. My mom just wasn't interested, she would cook if she had to but it wasn't her "thing". Anyone, any gender or identification, can cook if that is their hobby :D
christinathena asked: Sad, isn't it, that when the cooking earns a paycheck, it's okay for men to do it (and is mostly men who DO do it!), but when there's no paycheck, it's bad for men to do it ... unless it's outside on a grill! That's the part I really find bizarre.
handsome-sharks asked: The "men can't cook!" arguments just always baffle me. Everyone I currently know that's in culinary school atm is a dude, and they all tell me about how it's still largely a male-dominated industry with a looooot of sexism. Then again, the fact that people still believe that women only belong in the kitchen (but gods forbid if she gets a pay check for it!) will always be...
theselittlethings asked: I hate when I tell people (who often claim to be feminist) my dad is an amazing baker and they're like 'your /dad/?' as if that's weird. People should realize that feminism has two sides to it, women are equal to men but also men are equal to women. Men can cook. Women can fix cars.
sugarncyanide asked: My boyfriend is a culinary student. He makes me fantastic dinners (so much more romantic when you know s/he made it with love and care) and plus just watching him work in the kitchen is sooo hot.
teddyclopse asked: I'm not sure why but I find there's something extremely sexy about a guy who knows how to cook. If I see a guy on TV cooking and he's got that dishtowel on his shoulder I"m like DAAAAAAAAAMN. I think it's because it's just like "Yeah, I'm comfortable with cooking, and I'm still a guy"
amorilinguae asked: I hate to be so angry so early, but the cooking comment was awful, not only on the cooking side of things, but also the nauseating 'straight men are the only real men' trope.
neuroticdragon asked: A little late to the party about stay-at-home dads and cooking men, one time in creative writing class, a girl was complaining that she could never find a man who can cook. I happily chimed in "my dad can cook!" Not only can he cook, but he is an excellent cook when Mom gets too busy. The next words out of the girl's mouth were: "I can never meet a straight man who can...
mynameislyddy asked: Not that I identify as a woman, but I am female and am read as a woman, and if my current partner and I were to end up having kids, he'd be the primary caregiver; the stay at home / full time dad. It surprises me that people are so backwards in this day and age, that they think the mother would automatically be giving birth to the kid (not doing that, either!) and then drop everything to look...
macvano asked: The Yellow Wallpaper was a great short story- but honestly, I wasn't looking for modern feminist thoughts. I was terribly disappointed with the ending; her actions just seemed to contradict the rest of the novel and left me (along with the rest of my class, quite a few educators, one of which minored in gender studies) feeling like the novel didn't accomplish much. I understand it was...
19-20th century feminist/women-centric works of...
To your reader who read The Awakening, I have no idea why you’re disappointed, but try reading:
Henrik Ibsen’s play, ”A Doll’s House,” Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s short story “The Yellow Wallpaper” (or any of her other writings, really), Edna St. Vincent Millay’s poetry, Edith Wharton’s short stories and novels, and/or Miriam...
macvano asked: Have you ever hear of the novel 'The Awakening'? It's supposedly one of the first pro-feminist works, but it's absolutely horrendous and in my opinion, did almost nothing for the movement. At first I was sort of excited to read some old feminist works, but after this I'm sort of turned off. Any suggestions for novels that might make me like it again?
maggotsinherteeth asked: Have you seen that commercial for...I can't remember what it was but it was cute. It implies that a man is a stay at home dad and he's talking about getting rid of stains and how the protect lets him spend time to 'himself' and the daughter comes up and he does her hair? Seeing these stay at home dad talks reminded me of that.
How does one even respond to this?
“
I have absolutely no qualms giving her book a read, I am always eager to consider adversarial information as my ego is not invested in the truth. But do excuse me if my post came off as angry, I was duped into buying into the dominant feminist ideology in the past. I have since then realized with some experience, and some informed perspective (rooted in...
crayolagoddess asked: My dad raised me until I was five basically on his own, since my mom used to work crazy hours while she was getting her master's degree, and he says it alwys really annoyed him when people asked him if he was divorced/it was his day off/etc whenever he took me to museums and story times. He just genuinely liked taking care of his daughter. (Not that my mom didn't spend time with me, but...
sunmono asked: In regards to the stay-at-home dads thing- My dad has been a stay-at-home dad for the past... fifteen years? (Since I was ~6.) He does all the cleaning and cooking and most of the child-raising (though my mom spends as much time with my brothers and I as she can). In the late 90s the local newspaper did an article on him as a stay-at-home-dad. I think it's sad that people are still so...
yenrama asked: The news was featuring stay at home dads, I love the idea, but the news casters were shocked. Men can raise children? While their wives work? The whole thing kind of irked me, and I am wondering your thoughts on this.
So, apparently I can't use links in "ask."
I thought you might find this interesting, if you haven’t already seen it: http://oforganon.tumblr.com/post/11150747104/to-all-those-men-who-dont-think-the-rape-jokes-are-a
submitted by halfpence2cents
From CFC: oh i’ve seen this, its always a good read for sure. thanks for submitting.
lagranada asked: When do you personally use kyriarchy vs. patriarchy? Has the word kyriarchy made the patriarchy obsolete? Or does kyriarchy refer to interwoven privilege systems while patriarchy refers to male privilege and oppression?
doctorbee asked: How would you sum up feminism in 1-2 sentences?
aspicio-sidereus asked: Today, my professor decided to tell us that the way a woman dresses dictates whether or not we can take her seriously. I didn't know whether to headdesk or scream or both, especially when he singles me out for wearing knee high boots (dear god, it's the winter, they're functional) and another girl for wearing leggings. What I'm trying to say is thank you for being a beacon of...
1 tag
More fun sexist crap…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
submitted by doctorbee
From CFC: All i hear is “blah blah blah i’m a man i have testosterone and i’m constantly horny and i hate being friendzoned and why would i be friends with her if i couldn’t possibly hook up with her blah blah my penis blah blah.”
Seriously.
writerlyn asked: I am from a horribly conservative background, one that instilled a TON of inherent sexism in my brian. And I'm trying to fight it, to learn how to make it so that's NOT the way I think, because I (now) firmly believe that it's wrong. So my question is twofold: 1. How can I change the way I think when it's obviously sexist, and 2. When I do slip up, what is the best way to...
thesouthplatte asked: I want my corgi to grow up to be a critical feminist corgi
lettherebecramp asked: Hey there! I just wanted to say that I really love your blog and your stance on things. I just started learning more about feminism, and I've been trying really hard to check my privilege (I'm a pansexual ciswoman from a middle-class background) and put a stop to my internal sexism and sex-negativity, and having your clarity and insight on my dashboard really helps me keep my head on...
fatcatsandcurls asked: Hi there! I'm the mod for the new fat positive blog FatAcceptanceFrenchie and I've gotten quite a few messages asking if we are friends (puppies on the same side I suppose) so I figured I would introduce myself! I've always loved your adorable and insightful meme. xxx FA Frenchie
Whoever thought it was cool to make a macro on...
its not cool.
Hey folks
submit some ideas for a macro :)